Doom, despair, and agony on me

Deep dark depression, excessive misery…

If you ever saw Hee Haw, you would know that song. And you would know that the tune is sprightly and upbeat. Not exactly a gloomy tune.

But that’s kind of how I feel tonight. I’m a little (lot) frustrated. I’ve received corroboration that my lack of presentations and publications put the kabosh on my being hired this last year at the college I applied to. And I am trying to remedy that. I have five presentations that have been accepted and I am working on a publication that I hope will be accepted as well. One of the five is a national conference. The others are local. But one must start somewhere.

I spent a lot of time homeschooling and I think that was the right thing to do. Someone asked me if I felt underemployed at the conference I went to in October, and I said no, that I felt grateful to be able to homeschool. And that is true. But I am also frustrated that teaching, which is what I want to do and what I do well, is not valued as much as presentations… or perhaps as much as a perky personality.