Question: How do you tell the difference between Democrats, Republicans and Southern Republicans? The answer can be found by posing the following question:
The situation: You are walking down a deserted street with your wife and two small children. Suddenly, an Islamic terrorist with a huge knife comes around the corner, locks eyes with you, screams obscenities, praises Allah, raises the knife, and charges at you. You are carrying a loaded Glock .40 caliber pistol and you are an expert shot. You have mere seconds before he reaches you and your family. What do you do?
Well, that’s not enough information to answer the question!
Does the man look poor? Or oppressed?
Have I ever done anything to him that would inspire him to attack?
Could we run away?
What does my wife think?
What about the kids?
Could I possibly swing the gun like a club and knock the knife out of his hand?
What does the law say about this situation?
Does the Glock have appropriate safety built into it?
Why am I carrying a loaded gun anyway, and what kind of message does this send to society and to my children?
Is it possible he’d be happy with just killing me?
Does he definitely want to kill me, or would he be content just to wound me?
If I were to grab his knees and hold on, could my family get away while he was stabbing me?
Should I call 9-1-1?
Why is this street so deserted?
We need to raise taxes and make this a happier, healthier street to discourage such behavior.
This is all so confusing! I need to debate this with some friends for few days and come to a consensus.
Southern Republican’s Answer:
BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! click…..(sounds of reloading)….BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! click
Daughter: “Nice grouping, Daddy! Were those the Winchester Silver Tips or Hollow Points?”
I loved this joke. Of course, that might be because I am a Southern Republican. Just might be.