Stupid Job description: programmer?

I actually read about this on another site, but I thought it was interesting enough to go to the source. Angie , who is apparently a programmer, has added her “brain lint” to the internet. This particular article is about stupid job descriptions which HR people put up.

This particular ad, a real one she says though she thoughtfully deleted the name of the stupid company, has the qualifications for about five programmers and several other people included. In addition, it lists familiarity and skills with stuff no programmer in their right mind would have. I think the HR people meant “ability to use Word and PowerPoint” but that's not a programmer skill.

Though I'm not a programmer, despite my husband's best efforts to convince me I should become one, I thought this was crazy/funny/sad.

BTW, they didn't want a programmer. Even though they listed multiple languages as well as HTMl, Pearlscript, etc. They wanted a Webmaster.

I wonder who the company ended up hiring for this job.

Because I have lost a lot of old sites, they no longer exist, I wanted to quote the qualifications section. But please, the original is much better, fleshed out, and descriptive. It elucidates the reasons why the qualifications are ridiculous.

Recently viewed at an employment web site:

*3-5 years of Web based application design and administration experience (preferably with Webmaster or similar certification),
*Expert Level Java / HTML / XML / XSL / PearlScript / CGI / JavaScript development,
*Familiarity with XML standards/technologies (including Web Services), XML Schemas, DTDs, and XML/XSL development tools (editors/parsers),
*Reasonable ASP / Vbscript / Php development experience,
*Familiarity with J2EE/EJB, component development, OO development (RUP methodology), 3/N tier Web application architectures, Web *Application Servers (WebSphere, WebLogic, Jboss, iPlanet, etc.),
*Familiarity with Unix platforms (Linux/HP-UX, AIX, Solaris),
*Familiarity with ODA standards and compliance,
*Good experience with Web content management, trouble shooting, site administration and related tools, Web site trend/traffic monitoring/analysis,
*Familiarity with security standards/issues (PKI, SSL, HTTPs, etc.), backend database interfacing (JDBC, ODBC, ASP), interfacing with *Queues and mail providers (JMS, SMTP, MIME), front-end database reporting tools (Cristal Reports, etc.),
*Good experience with SQL databases (Oracle, DB2, MySQL, SQL Server, Access, etc.), Web Servers (IIS, Apache, TomCat, etc.), NT/*W2000 platforms, networking with TCP/IP, MS Office automation tools (Word, Excel, Access, Outlook, Power Point),
*Good experience with Web development/administration/maintenance tools, such as PhotoShop, FrontPage, DreamWeaver,
*Good understanding and application of state of-the-art Web design/development products/tools/best practices,
*Business requirement specification, Modeling and Web Application Architecture,
*Highly developed analytical, problem solving and decision making,
*Should be conversant with Change / Problem / Issue Management,
*Quality Assurance Testing of Web applications,
*Web End-to-end Testing Tools and Techniques
*Effective Presentation Techniques
*Documentation,
*Oral and Written Communication

One thought on “Stupid Job description: programmer?

  1. first off, thanks for your kind welcome to blogging earlier today.. (technically yesterday, i guess)..
    and i'm glad that it's possible to be loyal and patriotic with out being xenophobic.
    for that, thank you from someone who, despite being a naturalized citizen, felt absolutely unwelcome to the US when old glory was hanging from every car and rooftop and we got mean looks from people. to us it didn't mean 'americans stand in solidarity' but rather 'non-white immigrants, stay out of our country'.

    Saara [uvajasmine@yahoo.com]

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